18 Jan 2010

Hack N Slash N Tits

I'm back at uni. My 360 isn't. Lame.

But, briefly before I left I had a go at two demos; Bayonetta and Dante's Inferno. And since they are fairly similargames I'm going to compare them in a simple and concise way.

Bayonetta features a main character, who is apparently a witch, but looks more like Sarah Palin at a dominatrix NRA meeting. The whole game uses her"sexual attractiveness" all the way through, by which I of course mean, her tits. I was fighting a giant... thing and then all her clothes came off and turned into a dragon. This is a game entirely marketed towards slightly perverted gamers. Which is all of us. The point is, the entire game you are wondering if you are gonna catch a peek at her lady dumplings, and I have it from a reliable source that you don't. Spoilers I guess.

Dante's Inferno, on the other hand, clearly establishes that there are tits from the outset. For some reason, Dante's wife always appears naked, because apparently there are no decent places to go shooping in Hell. I wasn't really listening to the plot of the game, so as far as I understand it's like this; "There's a pair of sweet tits at the bottom of Hell. Off you pop." I've checking in my copy of Dante's Inferno and it's exactly the same. Trust me on this.

In actual real people world, I do enjoy Dante's better. It's ripping a lot off from God Of War, but it's got a decide amount of scope to be good. The enemies in the demo were all pretty samey, but the potential combo moves looked good, and the later levels were enough to move me from "indifference" to "interest".
Bayonetta, whilst appreciate is going for the crazy Japanese thing, is just about as sensible as a new pair of shoes for a pirate. Assuming the pirate had a pegleg. There's another bunch of people who are showing diversity in the work place. Pirates have amputees, and people with one eye. Pirates and cyborg detectives.

It's late, people. I need to go to BED. Catch y'all when I wake up. Peace out.

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