23 Mar 2012

To Hell And Back Again, Again

I'm not dead, honest. Just busy. Busy busy busy.

Back when I started this blog, I was a fresh-faced young seventeen year old, heading into his final year of A-Levels. It was 2009. Things were cool. I'm now a grizzled twenty year old, made cynical by my years of work on an unforgiving Biology degree, facing my final year of university. I'm also doing my dissertation. Part of that is writing a blog about science, which you can read here, if you are so inclined. Anyway, onto games.

I was back at home last weekend, which meant it was time to have a go on the Xbox again. Also pay attention to my family or something, but mostly Xbox. I JEST. It was Mother's Day. Always remember to thank your mum once a year for being your mum. It's a hard job, totally non-optional and the pension options are bullshit. What was I talking about? VIDEO GAMES. That's it.

Specifically, this video game.
Yes, I'm talking about Dante's Inferno again.
Yes, I know I'm the only one who liked it.

I re-bought Dante's Inferno from GAME (like the vulture that I am) just before I headed back for the weekend. I actually pre-ordered the game the first time around. No idea why I was so excited about it. I promptly beat it in a weekend, and then traded it in for Bioshock 2 (it was a bad series of trade-ins for me)

I said it then, and I'll say it now; Dante's Inferno is not a bad game. It's not great, it's very rough around the edges, but it's actually pretty fun to play at times. The story is pretty bad, most of all because they desperately try to make the original text work. However, the design of the game is pretty solid. Dante's Inferno (the book) actually worked as really cool source material that was used in Dante's Inferno (the game). The levels. The bosses. Some of the enemies.

Here's the thing about Inferno; there was literally no need to label the thing as "Dante's Inferno". The kind of people who rate The Divide Comedy in their top ten books are not the same people who drop forty quid on a new game. No-one is going to pick up Dante's Inferno because it's based on a book that hardly anyone has ever read. The game would have worked absolutely fine if you stripped out all the Aligheri stuff. The main character could have been Joe Schmoe Crusader, and the entire feeling of the game would be changed.

But you know what? Visceral have gone for it, and they are stuck with that. They've also apparently struggled in creating a sequel, because apparently, Dante's Purgatorio, a description of purgatory, doesn't really lend itself very well to a video game. To that end, I would like to introduce this guy.


This is John Milton. He was a writer. He wrote Paradise Lost, which is an epic poem about Satan falling from Heaven after a war against God. You probably see where I am going with this.

Make the sequel to Dante's Inferno a different experiment in Juedo-Christian literature. If you've played Dante's Inferno, you'll know it ends on a weird note where you basically free Satan from Hell (by accident). How about in the sequel, Satan stages a second rebellion against God? Perhaps Dante has been incapitated in some way, and Milton gets involved in some way. Maybe he's a soldier in the British Civil War who gets drawn into the battle between Heaven and Hell.

To those who say Milton wasn't a soldier in the Civil War, I'd say Dante wasn't a fucking Crusader.

Paradise Lost has some brilliant elements to draw from. Satan and his generals, Mammon, Beelzebub, Belial and Moloch all sound like perfect bosses. The Son Of God turns up at one point and literally kicks all the angelic rebels from Heaven. Later on, Satan visits Earth with Sin, Death and Discord. There's lots of stuff.

I don't know. We'll probably never see a Dante's Inferno sequel, given the shit-storm of a PR campaign that accompanied it. But it's nice to dream, aye?

Things I have done since last post; My Army review, Mass Effect Infiltrator review, The Lost Shapes, and The Call Of Cthulhu: The Wasted Land review.

Also, two articles at Newb Review, one about my love for Assassin's Creed, and another for my hatred of entitled fans, the latter of which I caught quite a lot of shit for. As I should have really expected.

Good night people. I will be back in a couple of months time. Got a few things I need to sort out first. Like my degree for one.

2 comments:

  1. Hmmm... I missed out on Dante's Inferno. My best bud bought it (he generally doesn't play action games), but he was pleasantly surprised by it. I think I should track that down.

    Also, if anyone could make a kick-ass game based on Milton's work will be my best friend for all eternity. Paradise Lost was just plain awesome.

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  2. Given the generally mediocre scores Dante's Inferno received, I went into my first playthrough with relatively low expectations.

    I agree that it would have been a better game if they freed themselves from the original work a little more, but it was good nonetheless. The designs were incredible and the combat was good too.

    Only problem I had (like most others) was that the game grew stale a little over halfway through. It still looked great, but the game stopped introducing new puzzles and combat mechanics. It's unfortunate too - if it had kept up awe factor that kept me so enthralled through the first half, it would easily have been one of my favorite games of all time.

    I will pay money to see Paradise Lost in game form, by the way.

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