Midnight Marathon; CTR

The following is the so-called minutes of a marathon session of CTR. Me and roomates Rowan and Tom set out with goal to beat the game 100% (yes, we know it's 101%) in one single play through. These minutes chronicle this, and also the decaying state of our mental faculties throughout the night. Enjoy!

9.40; Starting from new, using Crash as he’s the only character well balanced enough
10.00 Edd has first go.
10.01; Edd walks off in huff
10.02; Rowan does time trial perfectly
10.10; Rowan finishes first pack of biscuits
10.30 Rowan defeats first boss Ripper Roo, considers that Roo’s Tubes may be an entendre
10.40; Tom calls Coco a “blonde bitch”
10.45; Edd celebrates very easy win. Probably the only of the night.
10.50; Unlocked new world, completely owned first
10.55; Tom offer Papu-Papu victory cake
10.57; Papu-Papu gets no cake.
11.03; Rowan and Edd astounded by Tom’s shortcut genius; both in-game and real life
11.06; Edd thinks that the piranha plants are a Mario rip-off
11.08; Memory card issues are a bitch
11.16; We all buy Crash 3. Go platformer games
11.18; Tom forgets he is doing a CTR collection. Panicked collecting follows
11.19; Tom wins, because he is inhumanely good at this
11.29; Break for pasta
11.54; Game starts again, Edd has started drinking coke from a mug.
11.55; Tom hits a seal
00.01; We discuss how Sonic sucks now.
00.02; Tom comes dangerously close to losing. I mean only like a three second lead.
00.05; Komodo Joe, according to Tom is “a little wankstain”
00.06; Tom wins. Komodo Joe commits ritual suicide. Probably
00.15; Edd is stunned that there was a PS1 game called CyberTiger
00.20; Tom has yet another go at Coco, calling her a slut this time. Some issues there.
00.23; There are 7 games in a series called Every Child Can Suceed. The world is strange.
00.32; Tom achieves platinum, we rejoice with claps and well dones
00.41; No-one can pronounce Kristen Kreuke’s name
00.42; Dead or Alive breast discussions
00.46; Tom lists the average contents of a toilet. He’s maddened, apparently01.02; hulabooga
01.03; Pinstripe is, apparently, a potoroo.
01.08; Pinstripe has an unnecessarily long course
01.11; Pinstripe can go to hell.
01.12; CTR probably had a lot of extra memory space...
01.14; “A Faceful of TNT” sounds like a great album title
01.19; Tom; “It’s ass-kicking time”
01.20; Manure to butter alchemy riles everyone
01.24; Crash Bandicoot... IN SPACE!
01.27; A fall into the void causes a loud WHAT? from Tom
01.34; WHERE’S THE TEA?
01.36; Rowan is mentally deficient in some way. His words
01.40; Third memory card fail of the evening, fixed by blow job
01.43; Edd needs to relieve himself – thus Rowan is in charge of minutes
01.44; Very slow save of our minutes
01.45; Edd walks into door in attempt to prove his existence
01.47; We finally resort to “your mum” insults
01.48; ...shortly followed by gangsta talking, bra
01.50; We suddenly realise what we are doing with our lives.
01.51; Tom establish command as head gamer
01.56; The French for “warp orbs” is “boules de teleportation”. Just in case you were interested.
01.58; Rowan is official off his tits on sleep deprivation
02.00; 88%
02.01; Tom stops for toilet break; imprint in bed is left
02.05; Rowan has lost all mental reasoning. However, can still make self-scathing jokes.
02.10; Tom threatens an endangered species. He is now a man.
02.16; What’s in those nitro crates anyway?
02.20; Tom takes all the harsh comments back when he sees Coco’s new design
02.21; She’s still a slut though.
02.28; Silence
02.30; Tom Trehearn is... THE WALL RIDER.
02.36; Edd has a dressing gown on now.
02.43; Playing pranks on flatmates passes the time.
02.45; Where are the teams?
02.53; Excellent recovery by Tom, from 8th to 1st. He’s still playing by the way.
02.58; Missle is too negative, try rocket instead.
02.59; Tom is taking on all the bosses at once.
03.02; Talk of characters knifing each other illustrates our mental state
03.07; Eye of the Tiger. It’s about damn time.
03.08; Tom can do a handbrake turn in CTR. The world is still strange.
03.10; Memory card fails for the fourth time
03.14; Two platinum relics, and Tom is ready for N. Oxide...
03.15; 97%
03.19; Final boss = surprisingly tough...
03.20; AND THAT’S THE GAME!
03.21; Credits have never tasted so sweet.
03.24; Credits, now with political satire!
03.27; Thanks to Tom’s tireless tire-burning tricks, CTR has been bested. GOODNIGHT!