Postcards from; Machinarium

The hectic pace of day to day life getting you down? Want to escape the tensions of work, and just relax for once? Well, here at VideoGame Travel, we're committed to finding you the best possible travel destinations that games companies can create. Today, let's take a look at what you can get up to in the world of Machinarium...

Visit scenic Hull!*

Meet drug-dealing robots!

Bump into Jewish robots on the stairs!

Pretend to be in the circus for no reason!

Hang out in a dilapedated greenhouse!

*Hull, I don't really have any problem with your town. We cool. Sorry by the way. Must be tough to live in Hull.

Schmupdate

Lotsa things been occurring. Therefore, this is the next in the series of general updates, which I title by putting random letters in front of the word "update". DON'T ASK, I DON'T KNOW WHY.

Had a rather expensive month this month. Valentines Day was more expensive than usual, because I was buying many a present for my lovely girlfriend, who is lovely. And I'm sure she won't be reading this blog. I'm sure of it. Sure. Hey.

Went home on Monday evening, to see Jimmy Carr at a local theatre. A very fun evening, but more relevantly, I took the opportunity to use the 360 to have a go at Bioshock 2. I picked it up cheap from GAME cause I traded in Dante's Inferno for it. I only got to play the first hour or so, but what I played of it I enjoyed. The storyline could be interesting, and the simultaneous plasmid-and-gun combat feels great. I didn't really like the rivet gun, it didn't seem to have that much "umpf." I'm really looking forward to sitting down for a big play session at some point.

I also managed to grab six (that's right SIX) indie titles for the cheap sum of 12 quid. The pack is comprised of Machinarium, Eufloria, Osmos, Aztaka, And Yet It Moves, and Auditorium. Admittedly I haven't heard of some of them, but all the descriptions looked really interesting. That, plus Machinarium cost £15 on Steam. BARGAIN! Expect a NR review for some of them soon. I'll probably do a "Postcards From" for Machinarium as well...

Plants Vs Zombies got released on the App Store the other day, and I thought I may as well pick it up, since it's cheaper on the iPod than on Steam. I had a few reservations about it on the PC which stopped me picking it up. As a big fan of online Flash games, I've played my fair share of tower defense games, and PvZ seemed all over the place. After having a go on the iPod version, I have to say that I do enjoy it, but I still don't understand why it was such a media darling when it was released. The resource gathering is questionable at best and the plants don't feature any upgrades, which is a feature I always enjoy. That said, there's a wide range of plants to choose from, and the game has quite a good sense of humour. DOOM-SHROOM!

Right, that's that then. I'm gonna walk away from this blog post as it explodes behind me, as I strut forwards. In diamond covered boots.

See y'all next time.

iWant... So Much Stuff

It sucks being a student. You get up, go to a place to do some work, and then LOSE money. And now I want stuff. SO MUCH STUFF.

New Laptop/PC. Been thinking about going in for a PC instead of a laptop. It's not like I need to move the thing around anymore, so it would make sense to have reduced mobility for increased power. The way I described it there was like having a choice of weapons in an RPG. In Borderlands, I always seem to choice rate of fire over accuracy. I do use a lot of shotguns. I guess I assume the more I can fire, the more likely I am to hit the Jason-Vorhees-a-likes trying to kill me.
Tangents aside, I'm looking at something around the £400-500 mark. I think I can get something quite good for that, right? RIGHT?


iPad. Apparently, I'm one of about twelve people on the Internet who is genuinely excited about this thing, although that twelve does include Stephen Fry, so I'm with good company. A lot of people are saying it's just a bigger iPhone. As far as I can remember, the iPhone is doing pretty well for itself. I was very excited by the idea of iBooks, which is insanely hypocritical of me, because I've been against the idea of electronic books since the start. eReader, Kindle, nook, all of them, but then Apple does it and bam! I'm desperate to start reading off a screen.


This is all just me talking rubbish though. I definitely can't afford both, and buying even one would result in me having to save money by eating roadkill.

You see if I was employed, I'd be loaded, and be able to buy "dis shit". This is my understanding of how having a job works.

On the M2 to Hell

Back from the depths of Hell, and my hometown, I have returned, truimphant and bloodied, to type into a keyboard about Dante's Inferno. Hooray! Relevant gaming news!


I've got a copy of the real Dante's Inferno and I've tried to read it a few times, but unfortunately it's a poem translated from Italian, and a lot of the flow is lost in translation. I sort of get what's going on, but when Virgil is chatting for a page about something, and I realise I haven't got a clue what he's talking about.


However, Dante's Inferno THE VIDEO GAME forgos all that talky talky crap and just throws you into Hell, with the SCYTHE of DEATH and a MAGICALLY HOLY CROSS and says "Kill the crap outta everything and save yo lady" which is a lot simpler than a page full of text talking about sinners.

I picked up the Death Edition of the game, which, amongst other things, contains a code to download a Dead Space costume for Dante. Although it doesn't add anything major to the gameplay, it's quite fun to see Isaac waving a scythe around and blabbering about honour and God.

Dante's Inferno is a good game. It's not great and it's not revolutionising any genres. My major issue with it is that it isn't just similar to God of War; it IS God of War. Visceral Games haven't just taken inspiration from GoW, they've used some of the same ideas. I won't go into too much detail, cause I've thrown in my two cents to a review Crofterz over at the Newb Review wrote, so go and have a look when it goes up. Possibly today. I am not sure of these things.

I've actually completed DI, and in one weekend, which for me, is generally unheard of. I've also got quite a few of the achievements (side note; Dante's Inferno is a great achievement game). I thinking about taking it back to GAME and returning it to get all my money back, as opposed to a trade in, and then use the money to buy Bioshock 2 (and I'll still have some left over. Maybe I'll get this)

Well. I'm hungry so... Yeah, it's about lunch time. See y'all in Purgatorio!

MASS EFFECT 2 (BOX) REVIEW!

I got Mass Effect 2 the other day! YAY! I I CAN'T PLAY IT! YEAH! SO HERE'S MY MASS EFFECT 2 REVIEW.

OF THE BOX.

SO. Let's get started.

As with all new games, it came in some stupid plastic wrapping. Normally these are pretty tough to get into, but this was something else. I ended up jabbing at it with a knife, which finally got through, and only slightly damaged the box art.

The box art! At the top is MASS EFFECT 2 in BIIIIG letters, which makes sense since... that's what it is in. The image below shows three of the characters, starting with Shepard. I never really noticed till now, but if you squint, and turn your head slightly, he looks like an angry Matthew Fox. With an assault rifle. Miranda looks oddly happy, considering she is probably fighting for her life, and the lives of thousands of others. But then I realise who she looks like and think... AWESOME. Jigsaw-Face man looks like he had a very late night. Or is on drugs. I am aware of his real name, for the record.

Owards, breaking through the seal on the box (which is a certificate of authenticity, telling me... it's definately a plastic seal.), to the discs. Quite surprised when the first disc swang outwards, revealing... ANOTHER DISC! Totally wasn't expecting that, but I guess it's more to be expected than say... I dunno, a cougar. That'd suck. 30 quid for a cougar mauling. That's a total rip. Side note; the disc has a little note on it which says "Do not make illegal copies of this disc" Presumably, Microsoft thinks pirates won't break the law if asked nicely.

Manual! It's got the same front as the box, unsurprisingly, but it's got black and white stuff on the inside. I'm sure the original had colour artwork, but I guess it's not the end of the world. Although from what I read on the blurb, whole planets are vanishing, so it's the end of some worlds, I suppose.

Finally, the Cerberus Network membership, telling me I case access a wealth of in game stuff. The code itself is printed on a card in the middle of the flyer, and has cut out lines. I'm thinking about cutting it out. Perhaps getting it laminated, keep it in my wallet and flash it at random strangers. I dunno.

And so that concludes my review of the Mass Effect 2 box.
It's taunting me.

Sitting on my desk.

Wanting to be played.

blurgh.