...so this is a non-blog post.
What am I meant to say? That I'm still really excited for Mass Effect 2, and I have preordered it? That I really want my Xbox? That I want a new laptop so I can play Team Fortress 2 which I bought but haven't played yet?
Until something exciting happens to me (don't hold your breath) just stick at the Newb Review. There should be a podcast featuring me going up at some point, and I've got a couple of reviews there as well.
Till then... Yeah, I got nout.
21 Jan 2010
18 Jan 2010
Hack N Slash N Tits
I'm back at uni. My 360 isn't. Lame.
But, briefly before I left I had a go at two demos; Bayonetta and Dante's Inferno. And since they are fairly similargames I'm going to compare them in a simple and concise way.
Bayonetta features a main character, who is apparently a witch, but looks more like Sarah Palin at a dominatrix NRA meeting. The whole game uses her"sexual attractiveness" all the way through, by which I of course mean, her tits. I was fighting a giant... thing and then all her clothes came off and turned into a dragon. This is a game entirely marketed towards slightly perverted gamers. Which is all of us. The point is, the entire game you are wondering if you are gonna catch a peek at her lady dumplings, and I have it from a reliable source that you don't. Spoilers I guess.
Dante's Inferno, on the other hand, clearly establishes that there are tits from the outset. For some reason, Dante's wife always appears naked, because apparently there are no decent places to go shooping in Hell. I wasn't really listening to the plot of the game, so as far as I understand it's like this; "There's a pair of sweet tits at the bottom of Hell. Off you pop." I've checking in my copy of Dante's Inferno and it's exactly the same. Trust me on this.
In actual real people world, I do enjoy Dante's better. It's ripping a lot off from God Of War, but it's got a decide amount of scope to be good. The enemies in the demo were all pretty samey, but the potential combo moves looked good, and the later levels were enough to move me from "indifference" to "interest".
Bayonetta, whilst appreciate is going for the crazy Japanese thing, is just about as sensible as a new pair of shoes for a pirate. Assuming the pirate had a pegleg. There's another bunch of people who are showing diversity in the work place. Pirates have amputees, and people with one eye. Pirates and cyborg detectives.
It's late, people. I need to go to BED. Catch y'all when I wake up. Peace out.
But, briefly before I left I had a go at two demos; Bayonetta and Dante's Inferno. And since they are fairly similargames I'm going to compare them in a simple and concise way.
Bayonetta features a main character, who is apparently a witch, but looks more like Sarah Palin at a dominatrix NRA meeting. The whole game uses her"sexual attractiveness" all the way through, by which I of course mean, her tits. I was fighting a giant... thing and then all her clothes came off and turned into a dragon. This is a game entirely marketed towards slightly perverted gamers. Which is all of us. The point is, the entire game you are wondering if you are gonna catch a peek at her lady dumplings, and I have it from a reliable source that you don't. Spoilers I guess.
Dante's Inferno, on the other hand, clearly establishes that there are tits from the outset. For some reason, Dante's wife always appears naked, because apparently there are no decent places to go shooping in Hell. I wasn't really listening to the plot of the game, so as far as I understand it's like this; "There's a pair of sweet tits at the bottom of Hell. Off you pop." I've checking in my copy of Dante's Inferno and it's exactly the same. Trust me on this.
In actual real people world, I do enjoy Dante's better. It's ripping a lot off from God Of War, but it's got a decide amount of scope to be good. The enemies in the demo were all pretty samey, but the potential combo moves looked good, and the later levels were enough to move me from "indifference" to "interest".
Bayonetta, whilst appreciate is going for the crazy Japanese thing, is just about as sensible as a new pair of shoes for a pirate. Assuming the pirate had a pegleg. There's another bunch of people who are showing diversity in the work place. Pirates have amputees, and people with one eye. Pirates and cyborg detectives.
It's late, people. I need to go to BED. Catch y'all when I wake up. Peace out.
13 Jan 2010
I Wish I Was A Spaceman
HELP ME. MASS EFFECT IS SLOWLY CONSUMING MY LIFE. AND WORST OF ALL THE ACHIEVEMENTS ARE ALL REALLY OBSCURE, MEANING IT HASN'T GONE UP IN AGES.
Right then, now that the insanity is out of the way, onto the matter at hand; talking about Mass Effect.
Mass Effect is good. The story is captivating and very immersive. The talking sections have plenty of options and allow you to explore the plot as much or as little as you want. The driving sections admittedly aren't the best but as previously mentioned, I find it hilarious to drive into absolutely everything. Randomly searching the galaxy for things to do is also good fun and helps to make my character better, which I desperately need.
As I said in my last blog post, I don't enjoy the combat in Mass Effect. It feels clunky, and shooting enemies doesn't feel as gratifying as say Borderlands or Fallout 3. The biotic powers are good, so long as your opponent is standing still, and your teammates can use them properly. Admittedly I have started to adapt my play style to suit the game better. It's all about seeking cover, you can't just run into combat scenarios and expect to come out the other side unperforated. Having said that, what is the point in seeking cover if the enemies just walk right behind you, perfectly shielded and shoot the hell out of you?
I've also levelled up more efficiently, putting more points into armour, shotguns and the Barrier biotic. I need all the help I can get, and my logic is, if I can stay alive longer, I have more chance of hitting the bastards.
It's still a hard decision on Mass Effect 2. The collector's edition costs a grand sum of £54.99, and that's a fair amount. Requires more thought. Must resolve problem.
Until next time, I will see you all on the front line, ducking for cover from a missile behind a small crate, y'all!
Right then, now that the insanity is out of the way, onto the matter at hand; talking about Mass Effect.
Mass Effect is good. The story is captivating and very immersive. The talking sections have plenty of options and allow you to explore the plot as much or as little as you want. The driving sections admittedly aren't the best but as previously mentioned, I find it hilarious to drive into absolutely everything. Randomly searching the galaxy for things to do is also good fun and helps to make my character better, which I desperately need.
As I said in my last blog post, I don't enjoy the combat in Mass Effect. It feels clunky, and shooting enemies doesn't feel as gratifying as say Borderlands or Fallout 3. The biotic powers are good, so long as your opponent is standing still, and your teammates can use them properly. Admittedly I have started to adapt my play style to suit the game better. It's all about seeking cover, you can't just run into combat scenarios and expect to come out the other side unperforated. Having said that, what is the point in seeking cover if the enemies just walk right behind you, perfectly shielded and shoot the hell out of you?
I've also levelled up more efficiently, putting more points into armour, shotguns and the Barrier biotic. I need all the help I can get, and my logic is, if I can stay alive longer, I have more chance of hitting the bastards.
It's still a hard decision on Mass Effect 2. The collector's edition costs a grand sum of £54.99, and that's a fair amount. Requires more thought. Must resolve problem.
Until next time, I will see you all on the front line, ducking for cover from a missile behind a small crate, y'all!
5 Jan 2010
Vehicular Menace
It says quite a lot about my mental state that when someone offers me control of a vehicle in a video game with a gun attached my thought process is less "Oh, that's useful, a fast and safe way of getting from Point A to Point B, with the added safety of a gun which can be used to take down roadside enemies" and more along the lines of "Cool, now I can mow shit down."
Borderlands has got cars. Admittedly, they're sort of dune-buggy style cars that have entirely independent front wheels, but a car none the less. They also come with a choice of machine gun or rocket launcher, the latter of which has officially been designated "the nuts" at taking down... Pretty much anything. Despite this, I still find the best way to take down enemies is to just drive into them. Skag? Drive into it. Bandit? Drive into it. Rakk? Go off a jump, into it (I haven't done this, but it would be freaking sweet). The more I play of Borderlands, the more I like, and I haven't even left the first area yet. Great Crimbo present =)
Another thing that does what be havin' cars is Mass Effect. Well, not a car. It's an ATV with ridiculous suspension and jump jets. In a similar way to Borderlands, it gets you from Point A to Point B, and it's got a gun on it. However, it's more fun to run the Geth over. Admittedly, the Geth Armatures don't go down so you have to machine gun 'em a bit, but it's brilliant if you can slide the Mako just right and take out three rocket troopers. Alternatively, jump jetting onto their heads. Both of this work well.
Mass Effect is fun, but the combat is shockingly bad. I love the talking bits, and just navigating around the ship and the Citadel. The voice acting is absolutely spot-on, which is obviously of vital importance. It's just a shame that the combat is shockingly poor. I was having a great time, right up until the point I had to start shooting things. Then suddenly, it all fell apart. But I'm persevering. I have until Mass Effect 2 comes out to start liking it more, and get past the point I am at now. I'm thinking about pre-ordering the GAME Collectors Edition, with the exclusive stuff in it. Good times.
And that's me done for the evening. I've got to go pack my bags, because I'm off for little under a week, but I shall return Sunday evening to chat to you about... something. See y'all on the bridge!
Borderlands has got cars. Admittedly, they're sort of dune-buggy style cars that have entirely independent front wheels, but a car none the less. They also come with a choice of machine gun or rocket launcher, the latter of which has officially been designated "the nuts" at taking down... Pretty much anything. Despite this, I still find the best way to take down enemies is to just drive into them. Skag? Drive into it. Bandit? Drive into it. Rakk? Go off a jump, into it (I haven't done this, but it would be freaking sweet). The more I play of Borderlands, the more I like, and I haven't even left the first area yet. Great Crimbo present =)
Another thing that does what be havin' cars is Mass Effect. Well, not a car. It's an ATV with ridiculous suspension and jump jets. In a similar way to Borderlands, it gets you from Point A to Point B, and it's got a gun on it. However, it's more fun to run the Geth over. Admittedly, the Geth Armatures don't go down so you have to machine gun 'em a bit, but it's brilliant if you can slide the Mako just right and take out three rocket troopers. Alternatively, jump jetting onto their heads. Both of this work well.
Mass Effect is fun, but the combat is shockingly bad. I love the talking bits, and just navigating around the ship and the Citadel. The voice acting is absolutely spot-on, which is obviously of vital importance. It's just a shame that the combat is shockingly poor. I was having a great time, right up until the point I had to start shooting things. Then suddenly, it all fell apart. But I'm persevering. I have until Mass Effect 2 comes out to start liking it more, and get past the point I am at now. I'm thinking about pre-ordering the GAME Collectors Edition, with the exclusive stuff in it. Good times.
And that's me done for the evening. I've got to go pack my bags, because I'm off for little under a week, but I shall return Sunday evening to chat to you about... something. See y'all on the bridge!
2 Jan 2010
Happy New Fear
Hooray! Rejoice! And other such sentiments! It's 2010, the start of a new decade, moving on from the zeroes to the tens (I'm insisting on calling them the tens. "Tenties" doesn't make any sense.) I think 2010 is officialing living in the future. I'm making this year my best ever. I'm gonna buy more lottery tickets.
So I didn't really say what I got for Christmas since I've been ill for a lot of it, and I've also been distracted by all the awesome games I've been playing. Here's a quick run down of what's on the table;
Borderlands; Really fun and awesome FPS and RPG hybrid, bit grind-fest at points, but always quite humourous
Bioshock; Brilliant-ness, but I can't go on about it, cause I'm writing something for NR
Mass Effect; This was really good, right up until the point when I actually had to start shooting at things. Then it all fell apart, cause the combat doesn't work.
Batman: Arkham Asylum; Holy crap Batman, it's the NewbReview GOTY!
Prince of Persia; Ehhhh....
ALSO. For Christmas I got iTunes credit. Hooray for that. So I bought DOOM Ressurection for the iPod. Why? I dunno, I was bored. As opposed to being a real first person shooter, it turns out it's a on-rails dealy, with a few interesting weapons, like a chainsaw, but apart from that, it's a pretty standard affair. Sometimes the accelerometer would become badly calibrated and I'd have to reset the game to fix it. Overall, not bad but not overly fantastic. I shoulda bought COD WAW Zombies...
Sorry about the lack of quality in this blog post. I've been busy with games and I'm still a bit sick. Also I'm lazy, and easily distracted, so I spent most of the time whilst I was writing this watching The Big Bang Theory. Go figure.
Right, I'm going to write an email. You didn't need to know that. GOOOOOD-BYE.
So I didn't really say what I got for Christmas since I've been ill for a lot of it, and I've also been distracted by all the awesome games I've been playing. Here's a quick run down of what's on the table;
Borderlands; Really fun and awesome FPS and RPG hybrid, bit grind-fest at points, but always quite humourous
Bioshock; Brilliant-ness, but I can't go on about it, cause I'm writing something for NR
Mass Effect; This was really good, right up until the point when I actually had to start shooting at things. Then it all fell apart, cause the combat doesn't work.
Batman: Arkham Asylum; Holy crap Batman, it's the NewbReview GOTY!
Prince of Persia; Ehhhh....
ALSO. For Christmas I got iTunes credit. Hooray for that. So I bought DOOM Ressurection for the iPod. Why? I dunno, I was bored. As opposed to being a real first person shooter, it turns out it's a on-rails dealy, with a few interesting weapons, like a chainsaw, but apart from that, it's a pretty standard affair. Sometimes the accelerometer would become badly calibrated and I'd have to reset the game to fix it. Overall, not bad but not overly fantastic. I shoulda bought COD WAW Zombies...
Sorry about the lack of quality in this blog post. I've been busy with games and I'm still a bit sick. Also I'm lazy, and easily distracted, so I spent most of the time whilst I was writing this watching The Big Bang Theory. Go figure.
Right, I'm going to write an email. You didn't need to know that. GOOOOOD-BYE.
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