Dis-Fable-ed

Why can I never think of any decent puns to go with my blogs? Next time it'll just be words about the post, not some crap joke.

So Fable 2. It's a fantasy game, and a sequel to a game I've never played. The plot is alright although the amount of freedom you have to do whatever you want means that the story is ignored most of time. Also, Stephen Fry does one of the voices, so the game gains lots and lots of Awesome Points (tm).

I guess the big thing about Fable 2 is the concept of freedom to do whatever you want, with your character being a reflection of these moral choices. Now, a lot has been said about moral choices in games and that's not particularly something I wanna get into now, but I think Fable takes an interesting approach to it. Bar the end of the game choice (which was completely stupid, by the way) the game doesn't make an epic deal of the decisions, compared to, say, Bioshock or Spider-man Web of Shadows. The majority of the choices that you make affect your characters alignment, meaning your character is a better reflection of YOU. YOU. THE PLAYER.

Fable 2 is a nice looking game as well. There are some lovely looking locations in there like Oakfield and Bower Lake. The caves are also nicely designed, and there are some brilliant light effects on the exits of them. Some of the characters have crappy models, but they get the job done, I guess.

I've actually beaten the game, and I thought the ending was incredibly anti-climatic. SPOILERS AHOY!

So you collect together the three heroes, and they all give you power or something, it wasn't very well explained. Then, evil Lord Lucien shows up and kidnaps everyone, which is expected of him, because he is generically evil. Then he goes on to talk to you, but I wasn't listening at this point. Something about chaos. Then he shot my dog. NO! MR WOOFYPANTS! Although his real name was Maxwell. Then he shot me and I died. But I didn't and you have to go through this whole creepy dream sequence with your (dead) sister, and then you run off into this horrible battlefield and get the music box from the start...

So you finally reach the spire and Lucien is draining magical power from the three Heroes, for no apparent reason other than it's evil, although I had been doing the exact same thing ten minutes earlier. Then you hold A to activate the music box, and this stops Lucien (somehow) and then I shot him, and he died.

And that's how Fable 2 ends. What a gyp. Okay, you get to make the decision to resurrect the dead people, or the dog, or just get loads of gold. Admittedly, I was gonna get the gold, but I decide to bring back the dog, a decision which the game then yelled at me for. Stupid game. Mr Woofypants must LIVE!

Speaking of live, I got a wirless router t'other day and am now online. Go me. My connection is pretty awful, but it works well enough for me to download some trial games and some free DLC for Fable.

Also, you'll have noticed the new layout. Mmm, coffee-coloured...

Next time, Portal, y'all!

eXtreme game-fest

Several things have happened over the past week. For one I am no longer a Wii owner (technically). I am however, now an XBox 360 owner, which explains the lack of updates.

Fable 2 came with the console, and I've been playing that quite a lot. First impressions are good, but it's a little repetative and doesn't know where its head is at most of the time. I also got given Web of Shadows by a friend as a birthday present, which is also good, if not a little dull at times.

I've become a real achievement junkie, fufilling certain criteria just to get them. I like the ahievements system it's a good little meta-aspect to the games which makes it feel more connected to the console. I like the dashboard as well, which is a lot friendly than the Wii menu screen. The avatars aren't too bad either. They have arms. Go them.

I have yet to get online because the wireless router costs an absolute fortune, so that's a bit of a kick in the dental region, but I'll be getting one soon enough. I'm not so much looking forward to the multiplayer as I am to getting DLC, demos, and other such things.

I've also played a bit of GTA4, which is fun, although turning a corner at speed usually results in me slamming into garbage truck, then getting jammed in an alley way. Joy. But overall, it's a laugh. Although I can't understand a word Little Jacob is saying...

Right. I've already wasted valuable gaming time, so I'll see y'all mid-week some time, when I'll be speaking about Fable 2 some more, and the problems I'm having with Portal. Oh and one last thing, thank you to Richard from PC Zone magazine for the kind words and so forth. I WILL be getting the next issue via the internet =)

Stay frosty y'all.

In the Zone

Okay firt off, I really the following story is both dull and makes me out to be a really geek, which I guess is technically accurate, but the the hey.

Anyone who plays Battlefield Heroes will know about outfits, but for anyone who does not yet play (WHICH YOU SHOULD cause it's free) they are essentially different items of clothing you must pay real money for, but don't actually provide any gaming upgrade. Now I'm not rich enough or stupid enough to actually fork out any money to buy the clothes, because that would be a) a waste of money I don't have and b) just too damn sad for someone as cool as myself.

But.

When I went onto the BFH site t'other day, I accidentally stumbled on this little gem of info, which was about how to get a rather cool outfit, permenantly, for free. Well sort of. The codes to get the outfit were contained inside copies of PC Zone, a magazine which I don't think I'd ever actually heard of prior to this point. So I decide I would go out and invest in one of those magazines, not just for the code, but also because it'd probably come with one of those free DVDs full of stuff.

The amount of effort I had to put in just to get that damn magazine completely outweighs the boots and trouser and DVD and strange magazine I got from it. PC Zone despite being, and I quote "Britain's Best PC Games Mag" is not sold in any of the several news agents on my high streeet, nor the supermarket, nor a service station on the M5, nor a Tesco's in Norfolk. In fact the only place that actually sold it was a WH Smiths in Bluewater, which, I point out, is miles from my home. Ultimately it was a lot of effort and an expensive magazine, although I'd imagine double sided DVDs cost a lot to produce.

But I won in the end. I got the first part of my outfit (which, incidentally I won't finish until I've started at uni) an "intresting" magazine and a disk full of freeware games (which is good because I've yet to come across a freeware game I didn't like).

Well, I'm going to bed. And as it goes, I'm eighteen years old in 11 minutes. Go figure.
G'night y'all =)

Too late for me to think of a title

Oh, aren't late night blogs fun?

Answer; No, they aren't. I need to keep this up to date. Grr.

I've been watching too much Chuck tan is healthy for me recently on the magical device we call the Internet. Apart from having a few plot holes here and there, it's a pretty good show, with a nice mix of comedy and action. Oh and Yvonne Strahovski is hawt, so you know, that's cool.

I have also been going to the gym a lot because I've paid 30 pounds to join for a month, which might seem odd, but I'm going off to Uni in September, meaning a year membership would be pointless. TO make the most of it I've been every day this week, and it's cool, except it's REALLY HARD WORK. Which was to be expected, it's a gym, that's the point. It's also causing my old knee injury to act up, meaning I'm now walking like a arthritic tortoise again. Great.

I've been thinking about trying to change the layout of the blog. I like the colours on this one, but the column is just too narrow. There's masses of space on either side of the screen, I just wish I could use it. Any time I write more than say five long paragraphs, it stretches half way down the page, which I feel makes it less inviting to read. I'd much prefer a layout similar to this. Or possibly this.

And finally, the first of Tales of Monkey Island got released the other week, and there aren't words to describe how much I want it. Well there are, only I never bothered to learn them. ZING! Ahh, references. How I love 'em. Anyway, the point is, I can't get them. Well I can but it involves a terrible risk. See, the game requires a 2GHz processor, and mine is only 1.7... I've been through this before, but I don't want to buy it and then have it run like an arthritic tor- Oh wait, I already did that joke. Oh well. I guess I'll just get "The Dig" and pretend it's an episode of The X Files. In space.

I leave you with this, something, which if proven to be true, would make me cry tiny tears of joy. Don't hold me to that mind.

Machineguns, Shotguns and Bazookas, Oh My!

It's probably time I do a new post. It's been a while...

I tried Battlefield Heroes again, and by "tried again" I mean I've been playing it all week, but under the guise of a new character, the scruffy haired gunner Kaboomish. My commando was all uptight, and was called KnightHunter. Take a look.

Kaboomish just sounds awesome. Look at him. You know he's cool cause he's not wearing army uniform. Damn right.
So yeah after my previous post about how lame I am at Battlefield Heroes, I wasn't expecting anything different, just less invisibility. But as it turns out I'm much better at being a Gunner, probably because I requires a lot less skill, and more pointing the gun in a random direction and firing until whatever it is until it dies. I'm much better at that than all this aiming crap.

Playing a gunner is quite a different experience than being a commando. Mainly, you get to blow stuff up a lot more, with barrels or a bazooka. Tanks become a lot less daunting when you can take them out from afar with a rocket. I also get to use a shotgun, which is my "Weapon I Would Go For In Case Of Zombie Invasion", and I'm not too shabby with it, connection issues aside. I've been killing a lot more people, and coming last a lot less. More mid-table.

Driving vehicles is also much more fun, because when you jump out of the car/tank/plane, you actually have something to shoot people with, as opposed to a knife, which kinda sucks. The barrel is also a brilliant weapon for clearing capture points before attacking them, although I also use it as a parting gift for anybody who is killing me. I got the greatest kill on some guy who waved after shooting me, only to get blown up a second later. That'll learn you to taunt.

I've also been playing Cave Story, the freeware-to-WiiWare success story, but I'm gonna do a "Postcards from:" on that when I get a few more shots.

Until next time, keep on truckin', y'all.

Men in Tights, Pointless Updates, and Adventures in High Definition

Yeah, I could have updated yesterday. But I didn't just because I could. So there.

Ever since watching "Superman Returns", I'd been wondering about Superman films generally, and I remembered I actually have the original on my DVD shelf. So I put it in and watched it (as I believe is the current style). It wasn't too bad actually, apart from being INCREDIBLY camp. It's amazing how much of the dialogue was essentially stolen for "Superman Returns", although I guess it could be called a "reimagining". Also, Superman is the only film I've ever seen that sets up the plot of the sequel before establishing the plot of the actual film. KNEEL BEFORE ZOD, and so forth.

I bought the update for the iPod touch the other day, purely so I could get Rolando 2, which I have REALLY been looking forward to. But, because I only have an iPod touch, it's apparently my job to pay for the update. Grr. SO I bought it, but unfortunately I now don't have enough iTunes credit to buy the new Rolando, which sucks big time... So I now have the ability to copy and paste text, but no new game. I fail at everything =)

I've also been watching many a high definition video recently, just because the option is there and I've got the time to let it render, or buffer, or whatever. Videos on YouTube are quite good, especially Fallout 3, which is a noticeable improvment from all the blur you get on regular videos. The Simpsons looks very strange in HD, but the new intro sequence is cool. Unfortunately, I don't know anything about the specs of my screen so it could be a waste of time really... Meh.

Oh, I have the Determinance demo on my PC. I should really play it at some point...

Man Of Stale

11.34.

Wednesday.

Eyes blurry cause of lack of sleep. Probably need caffeine. Or Lucozade.

My hands smell of octopus. That's not a euphimism, I cooked octopus for dinner.

Just spent 2 hours of my life watchin' "Superman Returns". TWO HOURS. I ain't gettin' them back... Okay, okay, here's a quick summary of how that film goes;

Nothing happens for a hour and a half, then a coupla of action sequences happen, then Superman gets the crap kicked out of him, then nothing else happens, then the film ends.

Seriously, this film was ultimately the dullest superhero film I have ever seen. Superman Returns made Spiderman 3 look like The Dark Knight.

I am so very tired right now. Narg.

Come back later, me tired.