To Boldly Go Where No Badge Has Gone Before...

Mnargh. It's too late to be writing this, but I'm gonna rush through it all.

Still playing Yoshi. Making progress. Want to soon have perfect on first two worlds.

I saw the new Star Trek film today. It was really good, in my opinion. Good mix of humour and drama. I'm not much of a Trekkie, but I do like the series-es, in a guilty pleasures kind of way. JJ did a good job with it. Quinto was great as Spock, and Simon Pegg was brilliant as Scotty. Here's hoping for a good sequel. The film deserves a full blog post for a review, but I just don't have the time, although that does tie in to something this summer...

Saw an advert for Transformers; ROTV at the cinema. Made me wanna see the first one so I can go and see the second one. Go figure, persuasive advertising.

I spent the end of today trying, in vain, to get my GameSpot badge onto the bottom of the site, but only succeded in getting a big lump of code. It's still down there, just in case it decides to suddenly change. I've pinged a message off to GameSpot to see if it's me or the code that is busted. I'll be honest, it's probably me.

Finally, I got "No More Heroes" today, for the low low price of £9.74, which had been reduced from £19.99, which in turn was reduced from a whopping £40. Closing down sales. Gotta love 'em.

Right, I'm just about ready to fall over due to lack of sleep. Me need bed now. G'night y'all...

...and when IS this free weekend?

So, I've done it. I've changed the name of the blog. Welcome to the grand (re)opening of The Starting Village. I think it works, and I googled it prior. There is no website called the Starting Village so I'm set, thankfully. I decided on it because the starting village is always where you take your first tentative steps of gameplay, which I think mirrors my situation quite well. So there we are =)

In a completely unrelated story, it was the TF2 free weekend... this weekend, and I thought it would be fun to download it.

Biiiig mistake.

It took so long to download the damn thing for a start. When I started, it had 3.3 days left on it. When it finally finished downloading, it had 3.1 days left. Not that it matter because I never got to even see the damn thing in action. After waiting about ten minutes looking at a simply delightful picture of a spy, medic and heavy, I got to the menu screen. I knew it wouldn't work when the screen froze for a few seconds when I clicked on the characters option. It then took another 10 minutes to fail to connect to a server.

Overall, it didn't go well. The closest I got to gameplay was starting my own server and staring at some nice blue and red crates. I thought I'd be able to just run around on my own shooting walls. Alas, Valve had foiled my scheme. So that concludes my view of Team Fotress 2; it won't work on my laptop.

I'm busy all this week, but I'll pop in for a mid-week chat about things. Stay awesome.

It's all a conspiracy, I tells ya!

So a few days after I discover I need a new URL, my laptop goes and craps out on me. Anybody would think that the world doesn't want me to write this blog. Maybe I should take a hint.
But my laptop is now well and truly "kablooie", which is a technical term I learnt from Calvin and Hobbes. It jams at a repair screen that I can normally just go through once but now, it's simply looping. Fortunately I got the hard drive out (yay for voiding my warranty) and used a USB to SATA cable to get everything I need off of it, but it's a tad annoying. It's looking like my only option is an entire destructive recovery, which sucks majorly. I'm pretty much guaranteed to have missed something vital...

In gaming related stuff... There is nothing new on the horizon. I'm knee-deep in revision, so I've got little time for the gaming devices of choice. I'm still playing Yoshi's Island on and off, and I had a go at "New Super Mario Brothers" again. I was so excited about that game, but I think I played it too much and sucked all the fun out of it. Ce la vis.

And you know what else really sucks? E3 this year. It's on the first of June 1, literally days before my first exam. Last year I couldn't watch it all night because of exams, this year; EXAMS. There's definitely something strange here...
I'll still stay up to watch them though. Partly cause I like gaming news and surprises, and partly cause I like having emblems to furnish my little-viewed Gamespot profile. Go figure.

I've pretty much decided on a new URL. Go decision making skills =)

Catch you at the weekend.

What's in a name?

Quite a lot apparently.
After posting last weeks blog, I considered that it might be time to get myself a Casual Lamer Gamer YouTube channel, as is the done thing in this crazy day and age of online videos. I tried to sign up using the name "clgamer" which turned out to be taken. I thought I'd have a look at who actually had this name, just out of interest and then I found something out. clgamer.com is actually an existing website, apparently called "chocolate lemon". Normally I'd be angry at them, but they had it first, so there's really nothing I can do about it.

But this leaves me with a situation. I need a new name. I was never particularly happy with the Casual (Lamer) Gamer anyway. I'd initially planned to call it the "Lamer Gamer", but that domain name was taken, so I settled for clgamer instead. I know I could just play around with the address, but I feel I need a catchy name.

So from this point on, I'm gonna leave the blog nameless. The address will stay the same for the time being, but the blog is self is going through a refurbishment. I've had a few ideas...
- Some niche gaming reference i.e. threeheadedmonkey
- Something about pirates and/or ninjas
- Something totally random and off the wall e.g. ninetailedpiranha
- Just lavalampbamboo

So until then, this'll be the Un-named Blog.

Turning to games... There isn't much. I've been a tad busy recently, with a Psychology and a Drama exam on Friday (as well as leaving school), then my Leaver's Ball yesterday. In what moments I've had spare, I've been playing a bit of Yoshi's Island on the GBA, which is a good little platformer. I completed it years ago, but I've been going back to get absolutely everything, which is going well. I should probably get the DS version.

Anyway, I'm all out for today. Hopefully the blog will have a name by next weekend. If not... I don't know. Stay awesome, y'all.

Dancing in the Gekko

So, the other night, as I was lying in bed (as I often do) I was bored, so I did what apparently everyone else who owns an iPod touch does, and went on the App Store. Of course, I went straight to games, because I am a gamer. Which is what this blog is about. If you didn’t know that, look at the banner. You idiot.
So one game leapt out at me, something called MGST Lite, which turned out to be Metal Gear Solid Touch, something I had honestly no idea about. So, to find out more, I downloaded the demo, which took ages, I can tell you... But ultimately, it was worth it. The demo gave you three levels, and once I got used to the daft control scheme, I got pretty good. I actually took my iPod to college and played it in Psychology. The same three levels. I actually learnt where the enemies came from. What is wrong with me...
After a lot of hesitation, I decide to take the plunge and buy the full thing. It cost a fiver, and my iTunes credit is running worryingly low, but I did it anyway. I’m still not sure if it was the right choice, but whatever, it gives me something to talk about. I’m not a massive follower of the MG games, but I know a fair bit about them. Basically, the story is nuts. Something about nanites and cyborgs and ninjas and PMCs... I don’t really care if I’m honest. The game works, which I guess is the important thing. As I said, the control scheme is a bit weird, but once you are used to it, you get decent shots at the baddies. It’s fairly repetitive, but encounters with stronger enemies, helicopters and Gekkos, it mixes things up. Oh yeah, note on the Gekkos; would be a hell of a lot scarier if they didn’t moo. And don’t gimme any of that “psychological warfare” crap, it’s just mooing.
There are some sections where you have to use a sniper rifle on far away enemies, which is fine, but sometimes when you “pinch” the screen to use it, you end up aiming at the sky, which sucks, especially when someone is aiming a rail gun at your face. The cross hair often doesn’t move fast enough, so you’ll end up getting shot several times.
The bosses mix up the combat pretty well and provide you with a bit of challenge, although once you’ve died a few times, you essentially know the set pattern in which they attack, so from then on, it’s just a case of good aiming.
At time of writing, I am stuck on a boss battle with Crying Wolf, who has the aforementioned rail gun. Oh and there’s a blizzard, which makes sniping her very difficult, especially when the screen starts to frost up... But fingers crossed, I’ll kick the crap out of her soon enough. Go random violence.
Oh, and I found out something amazing. The rail gun is a genuine weapon. Who knew? Not me, that's for sure.
Stay awesome till Sunday, y’all.

Metal Gear Solid Touch

Platform Wars; PC (Part Deux)

Right, where was I? Ah yes, Simon 1...

6. Simon The Sorcerer

Yeah, this one is alright. Like I said before, I think I preferred Simon 2. This one was a tad linear, and a bit too short for my tastes. Also I got stuck for aaaages, cause I didn't know there was a compost heap behind the house. Duh. Interestingly, Simon is voiced by Arnold Rimmer himself, Chris Barrie. I honestly did not know that.

5. Half Life 1, 2, and 2.1

This is three years old... Wow. But I only got it 2007, by chance for Christmas. If I'm honest, I've only completed Half Life 1, but it was AWESOME! Seriously, not a major fan of FPSs, but this was awesome. To the MAX. But HL2 plays kinda laggyily on my laptop so... Meh, I'll struggle. Note to self; Put Half Life 2 on list of games to play this summer.

4. Full Throttle

Oh yeah, now we're into the gems, and the third of Tim Schafer's games I've ever played... Full Throttle kicks arse. If you've never played it, do so, it's absolutely brilliant. Not only does it have some excellent puzzles, it's also got a wicked storyline. Kicking a door into a guy's face definately a high point. Oh, and jumping over a canyon. And hitting a bloke in the face with a chain as he rides off. Brilliant.

3. Maniac Mansion 2; DotT / Sam and Max Hit the Road

Okay, so technically two games but screw you, I got them as one. Both awesome, both funny (the latter moreso) and both point and click brilliance on a single disc. MM2 (first Schafer game I played) actually has the original on it, which was a nice touch (note; hard as nails). Sam and Max was awesome, and genuinely made me laugh out loud. Much better than the newer ones, which were also good =)

2. Grim Fandango

Oh yes. Probably one of the best looking games I've ever played (big fan of both Art Deco and Aztec architecture) and by far the most compelling. Second Schafer game for me. A fantastic storyline, a brilliant concept, some amazing puzzles, hilarious dialogue, brilliant voice acting and ultimately a fantastic game. Also, I got this from Woolworths (RIP)... Probably the last great adventure game, and maybe the best ever... Or perhaps it's...

1. The Monkey Island Trilogy

Yeah, it's a trilogy. In my mind, the last game was a travesty. A robotic monkey? Yeah, okay... But seriously, these games are, in all seriousness, the greatest ever adventure games, pretty much defining the genre for years to come... My personal favourite is LeChuck's Revenge, for the awesome puzzles, closely followed by Curse, mainly for the art style. If you've never played these, you should. If you own a PC, get them. In fact how awesome would it be if these came out on the iPod... AHH MINDCRUSH!

Actually, speaking of the iPod, I gots me a new game for it... It's got Gekkos =)

Till Wednesday, stay awesome y'all!

Platform Wars; PC (or laptop, whatever)

Since I have bugger all else to write about (except completing Wolfenstein on my iPod) I thought I'd rabbit on about old games that no-one cares about, just like internet phenomenom, Yahtzee. It has nothing to do with the fact that all my PC games are already neatly stacked like that coz I just cleaned out the PC cabinet. To the left, we can see said stack. So, let's get started. I'm working from bottom up, in no particular order, although it's essentially order of preference.

12. World of WarCraft

I should point out, it's not at the bottom because I hate it. It's there because if I leave it lying around, it might attach to me Venom-style and cripple my already struggling social life. Maybe one day I will return to Renegade, the Troll Hunter... But I really doubt it, that bitch took half a year of my life, and I sucked at it.

11. Sonic Adventure DX

Oh Sonic Adventure DX.... Where SEGA first decided what Sonic fans wanted was to play as a bunch of characters no-one had ever heard of. Yeah, that makes a whole heap o' sense... In a sort of kitch way, this isn't too bad. The fishing mini-game was crap, the story was awful, but it has the "so-bad-it's-good" vibe going for it. Oh and Chaos is a fantastic word, so you know, bonus points there.

10. The Simpsons Hit and Run

Like GTA meets the Simpsons. Honestly, bit of a train wreck on the PC, but I managed with it. Didn't run too well as I recall, but that's because my computer is like 4 years old... Actually, now that I think of it, this came free with Season Four of The Simpsons. I got it from Woolworths, sadly no longer with us...

9. The Sims 2

Technically, this game isn't mine, but I don't care. I played it the most, so it counts as mine. I never really got the point in the Sims... It just stressed me out that I couldn't manage a family... But sometimes, it was a laugh, especially when you could have surreal soap opera families going on. Mort and Demi had a child, but Mort died, and Demi married Jamie, but then Morty (the baby) got abducted by aliens. Which is still vaguely better than "Desperate Housewives"

8. The Longest Journey

First point and click of the pile! Yay. Unfortunately, this doesn't work any more, which is sodding annoying since I was half way through and actually enjoying the damn thing. Slightly annoying dialogue can be excused for nice visuals and a slightly mental story. Puzzles are good, if not a tad abstract, but like I said, visuals = awesomeness. As a side note, a present from my good friend Oisin.

7. Simon the Sorcerer 2; The Lion, The Wizard and The Wardrobe

Yay, another point and click, but this time retro style. Sort of. It had voice work, so I guess it's not that retro. Simon is English, which makes a nice change from American pirates and Mexican skellingtons. I don't know why I have them this way round, I actually prefer this one. The story is much better for one, and is by far a hell of a lot funnier. MUCH better than Simon 3D, which was poooor. Turns out there's a Simon 4. That completely escaped my notice.

...and that's all I got time for, mainly because it's late and I wanna stretch this over to the weekend. Come back then for the second half and why I like these games, and also what that odd envelope is. Until then, stay awesome!

Because I got nothin' else to talk about...

Had a rather busy Saturday yesterday. Well, busy for me anyway.

First thing I did was go to the theatre (hooray for culture) to see a performance of Waiting For Godot. But not just any old performance, no. This performance featured acting legends, Sir Ian "You shall not pass!" McKellen and Patrick "Make it so, Number 2" Stewart, who, as it goes, were both in the X-Men films together. It was a really good play, as plays go. I may even use it for my A-Level Drama exam, since there's quite a lot I could write about it...


But now onto more pop-culturey type-arrangements; X-Men Origins; Wolverine. I've been excited for this film for quite a while now and finally it's out, so I toddled off to the cinema to see it. As you do. Which also means SPOILERS AHOY!

As a film, it wasn't bad. Nothing fantastic, but there were some cool action sequences and the story wasn't too bad. I suppose the directors/writers must have thought themselves so witty for having a framed picture of a wolverine over a young Logan's bed, but there we go.
But the REAL reason I went to go see this film was because it had Deadpool in it, or Wade Wilson if I must, and not only am I a massive Mrvel fanboy, I'm also a big Deadpool fan. He was played by Ryan Reynolds, who is actually a very funny guy. Unfortunately, the film's producers had a look at Deadpool, and decided that they'd essentially RAPE his name and make Wade Wilson become Weapon XI... Sigh. That pissed me off, but I'd had so many ups and downs what with Wade apparently being killed off-screen within the first half an hour and then maybe not, but then he is a mega-powerful super-mutant... I dunno.
But then this whole debacle with the multiple endings... God, it's such an effing hassle. I stayed all the way to the end and got the lame one... Effing Hollywood. Roll on the Deadpool film I say...

EPIC PLOT TWIST! Red Steel 2 might actually be good! Samurai Cowboys GO! =D